Accentuating the Positive

I was on the telephone the other day with a self-described “fast talking New Yorker” who couldn’t resist poking a little fun at my Kentucky accent.

“What accent?” I replied.

I was only half kidding. Despite being a born and bred Kentuckian, I never considered myself to have a particularly thick draw. I do confess to a little southern twang, but it’s nothing like the saucy sounds of my good friend from Louisana.

Nevertheless, from a New Yorker’s perspective, talking to me must be just like talking to “Larry the Cable Guy.” While I don’t have a corny catch phrase like “Git-R-Done,” I do have plenty of southern idioms. By far the worst is the long “i” sound. If I were Mick Jagger, the Rolling Stones’ classic would be called “Tiiiiiime is on my Siiiiiide.

What’s a boy from a southern border state to do? Perhaps I could change my standard greeting to “hello” or “hey” from “hiiiiii.” Or maybe I could eliminate the number “five” from all addresses and telephone numbers.

That probably wouldn’t work. After all, an accent is like a bad golf swing. You can’t fix it no matter how hard you try.

I guess I’ll just have to live with it. While New Yorkers probably won’t like it, something tells me I’ll be just fiiiiiine.