Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Giving It the Old College Try

It appears Trent has picked his college, ending our yearlong search. Along the way, we heard so many pitches they began to sound alike. They all went something like this:
  • Look at these gorgeous trees and buildings. Our campus is a regular oasis in the city or located in a quaint community far from big-city hassles.
  • Our weather is beautiful. It’s warm year round and it never rains. Or, in the alternative, our weather is not as bad as they say and the brutal winter / blazing summer is only for a few months anyway.
  • We have more clubs than a community of cave dwellers. You can join the Men Enjoying Meat or the Women Vegetarians. Like Harry Potter? Did you know we have a world-class quidditch club here?
  • And speaking of teams, did I mention that we have the best football / baseball / basketball / field hockey team in the Midwestern / Central / Eastern athletic conference?
  • Our class size is smaller than a knat’s behind here. You might actually get to ask a professor a question sometime. And we certainly don’t use as many of those God-darned teaching assistants as the other guys.
  • Take a look at these pictures of famous people who once went here. If you want to win a Nobel or Pulitzer Prize / go to the moon / act in a sitcom / be a senator or president, then you should come here, too.
  • We’re diverse. In fact, I dare you to look at this picture that was taken spontaneously on our campus and find one lifestyle / nationality / race that is not represented.
Many made the pitch, but it looks like IUPUI made it best.