Deciphering the Lingo of Little League

My son just finished his final Little League baseball season. During his time, I cracked the code of Little League lingo. As we move on to other things, I thought I’d pass these secrets onto future generations of Little League parents. So, without further ado, this is what Little League parents and coaches say followed by what they really mean.

“Just like in the cage” means “you’re not hitting it like in the cage.”

“Have fun out there” means “we’re losing and that’s not fun for me.”

“Keep your head on it” means “this is the one piece of advice everyone else gives when you’re not hitting it … and you’re not hitting it.”

“Move back in the box” means “this pitcher is throwing too damn hard for you to hit it.”

“Wait on it” means either “this pitcher is throwing too damn slow for you to hit it” or “this pitcher throws a curve ball, which you probably won’t hit.”

“Just you and the mitt” means “you’re not throwing strikes.”

“Let’s go buddy,” means “you’ve been my kid’s teammate for two years now and I still can’t seem to remember your name.”

“Let’s go 23,” means “I still can’t remember your name.”

“@&%$!” means “the umpire says dad has to watch the rest of the game from that hill."

And, finally, “Let’s get some ice cream” means “we just lost.”

How about other Little League parents? Have you picked up any lingo?

Parents Gone Wild

The basketball fan was worked into a full frenzy before the game even began, perhaps enjoying some sort of adult concoction as part of his pre-game ritual.

Immediately after tip-off, his voice erupted throughout the venue. He originally rooted for his favorite team, but quickly degenerated to mocking the opponent. He even gave a false countdown at the end of a quarter, trying to trick the opponent into shooting too soon. The players were too smart to fall for it.

All of this might’ve been harmless enough fun if it were at the Yum Center or Rupp Arena. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. Instead, the venue was a local church on a Saturday morning and the players were 10-year-old boys and girls. That’s right, this guy wasn’t hollering at Duke or North Carolina. He was hollering at a team called “The Blue’s Clues.” Granted, I’ve done my fair share of taunting over the years at sporting events, but I like to at least wait until the players reach puberty to do so.

Having been involved in youth sports for a long time, I’ve known parents to lose perspective at their kids’ games before, but never like this. Before it was over, parents were yelling at parents, coaches were yelling at coaches and at least one person was asked to leave, although the instigator somehow managed to stay. The teenage referees did their best to straighten things out, but were ill equipped to handle the mess.

It ended poetically enough with someone turning off the lights as they left the gym despite the fact that there was another game remaining to be played.

In this league, there are no standings, trophies or all-star teams. The purpose is to have fun and learn good sportsmanship.

So much for that.

How about you? Any good stories of youth sports “parents gone wild?”