This Just In

As I mentioned when I launched this blog, I never run out of opinions. So it should come as no surprise that I have even more to say about some of my previous topics. And away we go.

• First, I recently noticed that my favorite insurance company, State Farm, is running commercials staring basketball phenomenon LeBron James. What do they have in common? Both specialize in rejections. Seriously, State Farm, I need a new roof. What does LeBron need? Another Bentley? How about sending a little bit of LeBron's pocket change my way?
  
• Speaking of a phenomenon, the Snuggie simply refuses to die. It’s hard for me to pick out the dumbest part Snuggie folklore. However, if pressed, I would have to say it’s the video of people at a football game wearing Snuggies. That’s as unlikely as the return of the dinosaurs, right? Wrong. I swear I saw a woman wearing a Snuggie at my son’s basketball practice. She didn't even appear to have escaped from an institution. For more about the Snuggie phenomenon, click here.
  
• Here’s my political observation of the day: How come Democrats want to raise your taxes, but they can’t seem to pay their own? Are you listening Tom Daschle?
  
• Finally, my good friend Todd Tucker is about to release his latest book, Atomic America. As usual, I can’t seem to drum up any interest from the Courier-Journal about his story. If Todd would only consent to having octuplets, I think we’d be on to something. In the meantime, you can preview his book here.

Know When to Say Obnoxious

Because of a delayed flight, I spent a lot of time in an airport bar the other day, but not nearly as much time as the guy on the stool next to me.

In fact, this guy had so much to drink that the bartender finally had to cut him off. Then he got angry. His slightly less inebriated friend tried to soothe things over by explaining that the bartender was only trying to keep him from becoming “obnoxious.”

“I’m not obobob --,” he said.

“I’m not obobobnoxxx --,” he said, giving it second chance.

“I’m not like that,” he concluded, apparently realizing that three syllables were at least one too many for him.

It was like a combination of Jeff Conaway from Celebrity Rehab and Porky Pig.

I was so entertained that I shared this story during my presentation in Orlando as an example of how not to communicate. It seemed to go over pretty well.

As for the guy, he got on the same plane as me, but I never heard a peep out of him ... obnoxious or otherwise. He must have been sleeping it off.

Editor Scissorhands

The New Albany Tribune ran my letter to the editor about State Farm today. They only edited out two words: State Farm. Guess they didn't want to tick off an advertiser.

You can read the letter here. It is the second one on the page.

Right after the letter ran, a woman called my home. She said her son is having exactly the same problem as me. His insurer? State Farm.

I appreciate The Tribune carrying my letter. As a former reporter, I'm a big fan of community newspapers. I only wish they would've told me they were uncomfortable publishing State Farm's name. As for me, I'm not afraid. The truth is unassailable.

Worth a Thousand Words

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. So in the interest of resting my fingertips, here's what my roof looks like now. Notice the shingles are coming up all over the place. They weren't like this before that blowhard Hurricane Ike visited. Granted, I was only educated at a public university, but seems like simple cause and effect reasoning to me.

Another County Heard From

I recently heard from my friend, Jim Montgomery, regarding my blog entry about cheapskate behavior. Jim is generous to a fault, but apparently has been exhibiting some early warning signs. He wrote the following:

• You buy generic ketchup (done it but switched back)
• You tell the waiter it's your birthday ... just to get the free cake. (done it ... but this is usually after several refreshments)
• You cut your own hair. (haven't paid for a hair cut since probably 1989)
• You listened to a daylong sales pitch for a free night's stay. (have done the "60 minute" two-hour timeshare thing several times for free Disney tickets)
• You’re keeping your skinny '80s ties ... just in case they make a comeback. (did they go out of style???)
• Your precious childhood memories became a little less precious when you discovered ebay. (you can get a lot for comic books and Star Wars figures!!)

FYI ... Jen (Jim's wife) LOVES her Snuggie!!!

Hey Jim, in the interest of full disclosure, I don't think I've ever paid for a haircut. Of course, my mom is a beautician. Also, my superhero action figures have definitely padded my PayPal account. That snuggie, however, is unforgivable.

Jim is not only a funny guy, but a top-rate designer. You can find his Web site here.