It appears Trent has picked his college, ending our yearlong search. Along the way, we heard so many pitches they began to sound alike. They all went something like this:
- Look at these gorgeous trees and buildings. Our campus is a regular oasis in the city or located in a quaint community far from big-city hassles.
- Our weather is beautiful. It’s warm year round and it never rains. Or, in the alternative, our weather is not as bad as they say and the brutal winter / blazing summer is only for a few months anyway.
- We have more clubs than a community of cave dwellers. You can join the Men Enjoying Meat or the Women Vegetarians. Like Harry Potter? Did you know we have a world-class quidditch club here?
- And speaking of teams, did I mention that we have the best football / baseball / basketball / field hockey team in the Midwestern / Central / Eastern athletic conference?
- Our class size is smaller than a knat’s behind here. You might actually get to ask a professor a question sometime. And we certainly don’t use as many of those God-darned teaching assistants as the other guys.
- Take a look at these pictures of famous people who once went here. If you want to win a Nobel or Pulitzer Prize / go to the moon / act in a sitcom / be a senator or president, then you should come here, too.
- We’re diverse. In fact, I dare you to look at this picture that was taken spontaneously on our campus and find one lifestyle / nationality / race that is not represented.
